Keep Smilin Blog

Little Background

Ok, going make this short and snappy so I don’t send you lot off to sleep . I had depression from about 16 – 20 yrs old, so around 4 years in total..maybe a little more. As a stubborn, male adolescent lad I didn’t realise I was suffering from depression – or at least I didn’t own up to it. Depression’s an elusive illness, it consumes you without you even being aware. Day by day you become lazier, moodier and a whole bundle of over things, and then finally it smacks you in the face and you suddenly can’t find any purpose whatsoever in life, you look @ everything and it all just seems pathetic; then you contemplate dying.

So, this is where I got. I don’t really know why, people know how to cope with this and others don’t! At a young age my Dad died, but I don’t think this was the main reason at all, i just think I was destined to have it. I was far too analytical, lazy and to be honest I was quite a selfish person, who had a innate fear of dying. So anyway I could ramble on about possible reasons forever but this is neither going to get me, or you anywhere. What is important is the fact that I overcame it, and by doing so I completely changed my perceptions, beliefs and values, which I would probably boast makes me happier than 99.9% of the population today. And, should depression decide to come back for another little attempt, then I feel pretty damn equipped to kick the little bugger back into shape again.

Beating Depression

This is by no means, a cure for all. I’m just explaining/illustrating that although numerous people that have depression say that they have to live with it, well you don’t, you can do stuff to get over it or at the very least reduce it. I’m not going to lie it takes a hell of a lot of work, but you will get there, and by doing it you will become someone you never imagined you would be.

think about it like this, if you feel so shit that you can’t see the point in life then you technically have nothing to lose. That’s how I looked at it to be honest. I didn’t mind feeling pain, I didn’t mind embarressing myself, I didn’t mind sacrificing going out because I hated going out – and all these things made me get better. E.g I didn’t mind feeling pain because at least I felt something, so I used to do exercise such as running, boxing, rugby anything to rid me of my anger. That’s just one example. But, if you’ve been so low and come through it the whole world looks different and when people complain about menial stuff like the weather you just find it hilarious.

Right, so i’ve rambled a fair bit, ill get to the method. So, the things that helped me get better were:

1. Exercise (yeah yeah everbody says do it , but I can’t be arsed – just wait ill explain)
2. Setting goals
3. Becoming selfless
4. Thinking positive, or @ at least realistic (not negative)

So that’s it. 4 things! you can do that and ill explain. However you need to do them all together.

1. Exercise – like i say, if you’re not the kind of person that enjoys exercise then don’t do it because it’s good for you do it because it’s a way you can get angry and punish yourself but in turn you’re doing some good. I used to get really fucking angry about everything, I used hate myself and just wanted to punch myself for feeling this way and not being able to snap out of it. So, when i did exercise I would push myself to the limit and feel the pain that I craved, and dyu know what…..after, even if it was for a short time, I felt euphoric… just a glimpse of happiness that I knew I could get to.
2. Now this is key, I mean it. When you’re depressed doing the smallest task is ridiculously hard. So what I decided to do was create some goals, and have a year long goal (where I wanted to be in a years time) so that it could focus my mind on something else than what I was depressed about. Everyones unique, some might have goals, for others that feel really low the whole point of goals seems pointless. When you feel like this, like I did, i didn’t make my goals about me – I made my goals about my family and friends. I created goals that would benefit them, because I wanted to create purpose by bringing happiness to other peoples’ lives and make sure they never felt like I did. An example of this would be, say if you’re in university I would learn the text several times (even though I couldn’t be bothered) just so I could help my class mates, or I would cook for my family. These are all small things but they begin to give you the purpose that you feel you have lost. These goals don’t have to be anything like this,these are only for people who don’t have anything they want to do. for those of you who can think of things that they want to do like become a teacher, win a sports competition, travel etc then plan it down and force yourself to do it.
3. Becoming Selfless- i’ve kind of just touched on this, but I personally felt depression was selfish. I realised I wasn’t thinking about anyone else in a constructive way I was just too concerned with what I was going through and didn’t really give a crap about what was happening to other people because surely their problems weren’t as bad as mine! Because I had got that low I didn’t want to live my life, or leave this world knowing that I have done little for anybody else. And, although this sounds slightly immoral, but when I consumed myself with other peoples’ problems and finding ways to help them, I forgot about my own problems. Then I realised I don’t care its better to be selfish about being selfless than just being selfish.
4. The finale’. You’re perspection over time has probably become a little skewed. You need to try to become a more positive person. By doing this you will become happier, you will fill your life with good friends, good times, good memories… good everything. Everytime and I mean EVERYTIME you think a negative thought you need to think of a positive, there’s ALWAYS two sides to a coin, thus there’s ALWAYS a positive. Even if this becomes regimented its fine but after so long it becomes natural. Your subconscious learns to be more positve and you just start thinking more positive after so long. This is probably the hardest of the four tasks but i’d say the most important. This really does work. I found it helped to see the more positive picutre in my head too. When I used to think negative, everything was dark and I would imagine people pissing me off, but them I started thinking in brighter colours and look forward to meeting people, imagining meeting them and we’re all jovial and having a laugh. Although this is a typical example apply it to everything.

I’d like to know how people get along, let me know. Also if anything else has worked for anyone else please post it.

“It’s the changes you make today that make the difference tommorow”