Hey, I'm becoming really concerned about social situations. I am becoming anxious when I need to interact with people I don't know. I used to be really good with new people but now I try and avoid these types of situations. I am not seeing my friends as often because of this and I feel like I am missing out on a lot! Its only going to get worst - what can I do?7

Buddy: Hey, I totally understand, this is quite a common issue for a lot of people. Can you try and tell why you think there has been a sudden change, making you feel anxious? Has something happened which has made you less confident? Do you still feel comfortable with friends, is it just meeting new people where you feel uncomfortable?

User: It has come on recently, I feel ok around friends but sometimes have nothing to say. Will this make them not like me?? This may be why I don't like new groups? 

Buddy : So, with what your saying do you think that you've suddenly become conscious around new people for fear of having nothing to say? Why do you think it bothers you when you have nothing to say, do you think your friends mind? 

User: I dont know about my friends but surely it matters with new people?

Buddy:  It seems as though other people’s opinions really matter to you, do you get a sense that new people judge you when you’re quite, or is it more about the opinion you have of yourself that is making you anxious? 

User: thanks for your help so far Buddy but I have decided to speak to a psychologist that I found on your site - hope this is ok?

Buddy: Of course, that's great to hear. If you need anything else from me or ever need to talk you know where I am.

 jess  hi i keep havin panic attcks n i feel scared n alone n i dont know what to do wiv it 

Buddy 3  @jess Hi Jess, thanks for joining :). It sounds as though this is having quite a big impact on your life, but by coming here you are showing your ability to take control and by working together we can find a way for you to overcome this. I know of quite a few people that have had panic attacks, and I understand they can be a very scary experience. Is this something that you have been dealing with for a while or is it a recent thing? Are there any particular times when you have these panic attack? For example when you go outside or when you go to a certain place? Also you mention a feeling of being alone – is this because you haven’t spoke to anyone about what you’re going through or is it because you feel nobody understands? I’m sorry to ask you all these question’s Jess, it’s just so I can get a better understanding of your situation so I can provide the right support for you :)

jess  @Buddy 3 hi its only jus come recently and its gettin worse and they happen wen i go to places like a shopping center or wen i go to school but otherwise they can cum whenever i have spoke to pepole about these but they dont understand what it feels like n i really dunno wat to do about it

Buddy 3  @jess I know how horrible they feel, and how terrible you must feel right now, but panic attacks can be overcome. A lot of people suffer from panic attacks for various different reasons. Its always better to seek help as soon as possible, so that you can prevent them from reoccuring. Do you find that they come on when you dont want them to? a great treatment for panic attacks is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) because this helps you to challenge your thoughts - so when you feel like your anxiety building up you talk positively to yourself by saying 'its ok, i have nothing to fear, everything is safe around me, I can relax' and then take your mind off it - so rather than thinking about panicing think about something completely different like what your doing tonight, etc. Take a look at the CBT information on the Keep Smilin page if you get time. CBT is conducted best with a trained professional, normally your doctor will refer you - would you consider speaking to your doctor :)?

jess  @Buddy 3 hi i dont want to speak to my doctor cus im not keen on going to them but i saw my head of year at school toaday and he is supporting me wih the school nurse.

Buddy 3  @jess Can I ask how that went? 

jess  @Buddy 3 i havent seen the school nurse yet but i went to the docotors aswell toady and hes referd me to a councellor and we have made an appointment with them. and also my head of year is supporting me a lot by letting me stay out of a lesson if i have a panic attack.

Buddy 3  @jess I think its really admirable how proactive you been addressing everything :). When is your appointment with the counsellor? Would you like more support from me whilst you wait for your appointment?

jess  @Buddy 3 i dont know when the appoitment is yet i have to wait for them to send me a letter and yeah your support would be good :)

Buddy 3  @jess Normally, it shouldn't take more than 4 weeks - so fingers crossed they'll let you know your appointment next week. In the meantime i'd love to help you out as much as possible. First, I need to know what you do when you feel a panic attack coming on and how you're coping - do you try to avoid certain situations etc?

jess  @Buddy 3 hi when i have my panic attacks its normally when im in a shop or in large crowds of pepole so im avoiding going out at the moment and when i do have one i just try and cope with it the best i can.

Buddy 3  @jess So when they come on are you normally on your own, or with friends, or doesn't it matter? When you start feeling yourself getting a bit panicky, have you tried taking your mind off it? There are also great breathing exercises to calm you down when you feel one coming on - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15F9JQcM5Tk .

jess  @Buddy 3 it dosent matta wether im wiv anyone it jus cums

Buddy 3  @jess are there times when they're about to come on but you manage to prevent it from happening?

jess  @Buddy 3 nah if one cums it jus happens

Buddy 3  @jess at the moment it seems as though you feel you have no control over these panic attacks, but there are ways to help yourself when you feel like one is coming on. Do you feel ready to try some of these techniques out jess? 

jess  @Buddy 3 yeh i will try them:)

Buddy 3  @jess Hey Jess, I've sent you a private message :)

 Agentbedhead  Hey..im new here, but heres my basic story. I suffer from anxeity depression, iv been to my gp sevral times and im on medication. i have also seen a phycologist and just this morning got another apointment through. A few months ago my anexietys were so bad i cut my leg, becuase i wanted to feel anything but this anxeity. i found this site and it seems really good, i am also looking into buying a couple self help books to help things along, any advise for getting rid of fears and feeling positive about life would be great, thanks. Sebastian

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead Hey adam - let me know what you think. Hey there Sebastian thanks for confiding in us. It’s fantastic that you have had the confidence to seek help, I know it can difficult to manage these feelings of anxiety and depression but the fact that you are already receiving help and you have come here shows your determination to get better. How do you feel the help with the psychologist is going? I hope you don’t mind me asking but what do you feel has brought these feelings on? And how long have you been experiencing them? You mention ‘fears’ can you explain this a little more for me – is this related to your anxiety?

Adams  @Buddy 3 Hey buddy3, thanks for asking me. I had the exact some symptoms as Sebastian, & felt as terrible as him.I know how u feel Sebastian tbh - livin with anxiety was the worst thing I'd ever had.I found it really useful to workout loads.I used to run4 miles, pushin myself to feel the pain so that I didnt have to feel the anxiety. I used to just workout until I was shattered and that used to relax me a little to be honest. But, it was definitely seeing the psychologist that helped me the most with CBT - I dont know what he's doing with u sebestian but check the info on the site about CBT :)

Buddy 3  @Adams thanks for sharing that with us adam. How are you feeling? do you feel that you have the control over your anxiety now rather than it having control over you?

Agentbedhead  Throughout my childhood iv sort of always had fears, very strong ones, for example getting in a lift, silly things like tht, or feeling nervous to the point of sickness just waiting for a bus. Ill say a little more about myself first, basicly, i can come to the conclusion that i have life good. I have a job, i have a beautifull girlfriend who btw i move in with this summer, i have family and friends, im a fit healthy guy, im in a great situation, compared to some peoles problems, and i ask myself wht do i have to worry about, and im like well nothing...but still i feel anxiety for things.  I feel anxiety for things that dont even excist. Its ok to feel nervous or fear things to some point, we need to know whts right and wrong, but it shouldnt be to a point where it depresses me so much i cut into my own leg jst for a release. I am very determind to get better, and even just knowing im not the only one suffering this makes me feel better. Most of my worrys are mainly " what if" for example what if this or that happened, and i get worked up about it and obsess about it, as if its happened, while i have life so good, i fear things that dont excist, and it drives me mad. Having a constant feeling of anxeity in your gut. I used to fear things like, what if my girl left me, how would i cope, what if this, what if that, i couldnt take well to change, my self asteem and confidence was rock bottom, i felt i had no purpose and felt it would all be so much easier to not feel a thing and commit suicide. but no, i am resposible and a sensible guy, but those fears of say my girl leaving me, faded with time, to this day i never worry about that. But since januray, i have been stressing and obsessing about finances and life issues even when i go over everything, i still feel like oh what if im missing somthing, ill just go check...yep everythings fine, nothing to worry about, just relax and enjoy my free time, go to work, go on holiday, live my life. oh no wait...i could be missing somthing, oh yeh. theres actualy nothing..and it goes on like this all day, ups and downs, ill feel a rush of happiness and confidence, and with in 2 mins its gone, just like that, becuase my head feels like thoughts are exploding everywhere..and i cant controll them..and it drives me mad to the point i just cant let go and relax...it could go on and on..but basicly i am going to read a couple self help books, i just ordered a copy of "feel the fear and do it anyway". Which many reveiws highly recomend. im also on ciprilex, a low dose anti depressant, which does help, since a couple months ago when i was so depressed with worrys, i have come along way already, my gp can see it, but the anxiety is still there, and if i dont seek this help, i can see myself slipping again, and harming myself becuase life seems to be all to much, even though its really not, and my situation in life is perfectly fine, i still feel bad..sorry for all the messages, just rambling on, hope you get my drift, im going to the psycologist next week, and iv also been signed up for a programm called beat the blues, which is one a week in a library on a computer. designed to help these problems, my mother is also a sufferer of this, and its said to be passed down through parents. But as i said about myself worrying of finacial issues, even thought there are none, only a couple of months ago i never ever ever worryed of this, i just had a rough idea of wht i had in the bank, didnt think much of it, spent when i needed things, enjoyed life, lived my life, went to work, payed my bills, everythings fine, now for some reason its not..hmm. well i shuld really stop, ill ask about cbt with my doctor, and keep you updated on my progress, not as many messages though haha, i am sorry. I am a fun loving guy full of life, you would look at me and think theres nothing wrong, while each day in my head its a battle just to feel a few seconds of peace..i am very determind to get better, and i know im on the right track, and i love to exercise also, one of my big hobbies, thanks for reading, hope it makes a little sence. sebastian

 Hey Sebastian – feel free to write as much you like – It helps me to understand how you feel so that I can give you the right support. It sounds like everything externally like your girlfriend and general life on the outside is fine, it’s what is going on inside that is troubling you. Its how you’re thinking that is bothering you. The beating the blues program is a CBT focused program that helps you to look at how you think and challenge any negative thoughts or ‘thinking errors’ .CBT is proven to be a highly effective treatment especially with depression and anxiety. To learn a little bit more about it check out: http://www.keepsmilin.co.uk/treatments/cbt.asp would be worth watching the video too. Can I ask when do you start the 'beating the blues' program? When you see your psychologist next month I think it would be worth having a chat to him about CBT because he may be able to give you exercises to work with at home, work etc - pretty much all the time. I can understand how distressed you feel at the moment, but seeing a psychologist and doing what you are going is definitely going in the right direction - you are making some profound positive steps.I would like you to stay with me throughout your treatment, so I can support you should you need someone to talk to. With regards to self help, there are numerous things you can do that will all help. Obviously you say that you exercise a lot - so that's brilliant - can I ask what exercise you do? Small dietary changes can make a difference - do you eat health? But, I think goal setting is one of the most important for you. Do you have any aspirations or ambitions?

 Agentbedhead  I am awaiting an assesment apointment for beating the blues, to see if i am suited for it. I will definatly mention CBT on thursday at my apointment. I used to lift weight but have recently sold my equipment, but now i do various push ups and sit ups, basicly workouts without equipment and using your body weight instead, and also some running twice a week, yoga and i like to listen to relaxing music and try to let go of thoughts. I try to balance my diet, have a good breakfast lunch and dinner with some good foods, i drink 2 litres of water a day, but i am one to snack alot also somtimes when im low. I wish to one day become a firefighter or police man. Maybe with my condition not the smartest.

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead it sounds as though you are taking a lot of positive steps towards getting better and you have a lot of drive and ambition. Feel free to come here if you want to discuss anything that is going on with you, I'm always available :)

Agentbedhead  Thanks, i will keep in touch

Agentbedhead  Hey buddy 3. so iv been to my first "beat the blues session" which was on the computer in the library, went pretty well and i go again next week, after the 8 week course i can decide if i wanna keep my name on the list to see a phyologist. Right now i have to say my anxiety is coming from moving in with my girlfriend and all the new bills. IM just over thinking evrything think omg wht if i messed up, then ill go over everything over and over til i drive myself crazy Rent counciltax unitlity bills contents insurance Mobile Broadband buss pass Food & living Am i missing somthing there or am i just driving myself nuts for no reason? 

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead That’s brilliant that you’ve started the program ☺ What sorts of things was it asking you to do? Do you feel it’s helping you to change the way you look at things? You know it is completely normal to worry about bills ect – you’ve just moved in and it’s a big change and there are a lot of responsibilities but these should not control your thoughts. Have you got any type of system going where you can organize all your bills and when you have to pay them? Maybe a file so you can keep everything in order and up to date – this might help you feel a little more in control. It seems your mind is preoccupied with worries but I’m just wondering if sometimes you think about the positive aspects of moving in with your girlfriend? I mean it must be great that you’re living together cause now you can spend more time together and become closer. 

Agentbedhead  @Buddy 3 Yes there alot of positives, and yes i have everything organised, with when and what ill have to pay, its all there, sorted, but i still worry about problems tht arent even there, really stressfull. I understand tht anyone, moving out for the first time wil have worrys, but not to the point where its unbarable, so enoying and energy consuming

Adams  @Agentbedhead Hey! hope you don't mind me asking - how did you find the beat the blues program? 

Agentbedhead  @Adams Well in my first session it was mainly answering a few questions, and then looking at how certain events triger feelings and emotions and stuff, and identifying sme problems i have and thinking about when and where they come up and stuff, just basic stuff but i think as i progress through the course it should be a help to me, worth a shot if your on a long waiting list to see a phycologist6 months agoReply

Adams  @Agentbedhead Yeah defintely, It sounds very similar to what I did - it will help massively. I had really similar anxieties to yourself. I would worry constantly about one thing or another and I couldn't help it, it just felt like that's how I was. But, I managed to go and see a psychologist eventually and with a lot of work helped me to challenge how I think. It's as though without even knowing it me and you learnt to worry about things and that was part of us, but I had to break this and re-learn- does that make ne sense?

Agentbedhead  @Adams Yes it does, i try to keep thinking im on the right track, i know i can get better, its just like worrying about silly stuff that wont/hasnt even happened very frustrating and energy draining

Adams  @Agentbedhead Tell me about it, sounds like your doing a great job though. You're definitely doing all the right things - seeing a psychologist would be good too. You will beat this bud - you sound really determined :) 

Agentbedhead  Yeah im pretty determind to be better, but it will take time i know

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead Hey sebastian, I was just wondering what sort of stuff you had to do for the beat the blues session - did they give you any homework to do? if so have you been trying anything out?

Agentbedhead  @Buddy 3 Hey, i got a problem diary prnted out for 1 week, basicly i had to note 3 problems i suffer, then it prints out this diary on a4 paper, with the days of the week, each problem, and on each day you can note when where and wht you were when the problem occurs, giving you better understanding of your problems, erm but i go again this thursday for my second session, see how it goes, ill keep you up to date. thanks

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead I see so have you been keeping up to date with this diary? If you don't mind me asking do these feelings of anxiety continue throughout the whole day? or are there times when they are a little easier? I was also wondering whether you do any type of relaxation techniques when these anxieties start to arise - I know these anxieties are coming about by intrusive thoughts and you're doing the right thing to deal with those but perhaps in the mean time you may be able to ease these anxieties with simple relaxation techniques.

Agentbedhead  @Buddy 3 Yes i have been, and its basicly all day anxeity, sometimes strong, sometimes weak, but yes i am studying relaxsation techniques, meditation is good to, i am reading self help books, so im doing all i can for now, and talking to people when i feel real bad, just takes time to change the way my brain thinks, i try postive thinking exercises to,

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead I see it seems you're doing everything you can to help yourself which is really great. You're taking a pro-active approach and it will pay off in the end :). So now that you're keeping a diary of when you're problems occur, have you noticed anything in particular that triggers them? 6 months agoReply

Agentbedhead  @Buddy 3 Well the beating the blues is helping me to identify the event, then the thoughts, then the feelings, its like a cycle, so say i crash my car, my thoughts would be omg im such an ediot, then feelings would be, anger and sadness. its that sort of cycle, and teaching me to turn that cycle into a positive one, with every event, or as many as i can, so if i have positie thoughts from an event, then the feelings will be good

Buddy 3  @Agentbedhead Ok keep me up to date as to how your sessions are going :)